Adventures in Change!

How much of myself do I share with the world. I’m not anyone special, except to my family and some of my former patients. Actually a lot of my former patients, and that’s about all I wanted in life in the long run was to make a difference for someone. I still want to do that! Menopause and ADHD have kicked my butt. My memory is shot, unless I get hyper-focused on something I’m really interested in, then I remember totally useless trivia. It’s really frustrating sometimes. I’ve been unemployed for 16 of the last 18 months. I’d never been fired in my life, haven’t had to look for a job for over 25 yrs. I worked at the same hospital for 23 yrs, I was agency and ended up hiring on.

Now I’ve been fired twice, exactly a year apart Oct 3 2011 and Oct 3 2012. I don’t have any concept of time and people were having to remind me to do stuff. I believe it’s getting better. I’ve had insomnia for about 5 years, which certainly doesn’t help. The weirdest thing is how calm I feel. The second job I lost, when I realized what day it was, it immediately became a God thing (honestly, not a dogma God, just love). Time for me to learn new lessons, and they will only be as hard as I make them. I’m not trying to control things I can’t and I don’t have to worry about my kids because they’re grown. It’s just me and my animals. I’ve thought about a lot of things, even when (if) I ever find a job, I want to completely reduce my space. I would love a tiny house, and have thought of RV living for a while.

For selfish reasons, more than green reasons, I want solar panels, so I can live off the grid. The lower environmental impact will just be a added benefit. I’m trying to discover my bliss and then follow it. I’m going to downsize and sell most of the things I have. I know what I want most is a small personal space and the ability to travel – a lot – which means wheels. I’ll find some other way to make a living. I’ve discovered I really don’t need much at all. I do have things I’m quite partial to, like my Cuisinart Keurig machine, and a lot of books. I have been trying to weed through the books, because I have quite a few in print, audio and e-book. (Kindle mostly) I’m a little bit overboard as a bibliophile!! I need to keep the digital audio and e-books, then do some extreme reduction in the amount of books I keep. I’ve got a small ladder bookcase that I’m going to try to hold all the books I keep, then get rid of what doesn’t fit.

So – first step is to simplify and sell everything, get a cheap car and get rid of that note. (no more MINI Coopers for a while, but I’ll live) I sure miss those babies, I was fortunate enough to drive a convertible for 6 years and a Countryman for 1 year (supercharge and turbo versions of course). I figure I got to have 2 versions of my dream car, which is more than a lot of people get. So generally, as my Dad used to say, I am loved and life is good! It’s time to reconnect with family and be what they need, not my absentminded, birthday/holiday card forgetting typical self. Here begins a new journey, or season in my life, and I’m going to try and share just in case I find more like minded people that I can help by sharing my future mistakes with. As a very dear friend of mine used to say on her answering machine – “Have a good day, unless you have other plans!” 😉

Advertisements